Okay, so this is Day #1. The managing partner walked into my office yesterday afternoon and advised me that he was going to "have to let me go". Fifteen years in here. Partner for ten of those years. No problems with my work, I'm well respected, etc., etc., The business simply isn't there anymore. So, essentially a full paycheck for the end of this fiscal year. Three staggered checks over the next nine months which will equal 50% of this year's salary. No discussion yet of an actual "last day".
It is not an exaggeration to say that the industry in which my firm works has been decimated. There have been layoffs throughout, companies have contracted and some are on the verge of failure. The services businesses that surround this industry (law firms, accounting firms, etc.), needless to say, have been hit very hard as well.
I was largely a "service" lawyer; handling a portion of my firm's existing client base. But that client base has not only not grown in recent years, it has started to shrink. Also, many clients who were once active are far less so. There are many, many fewer deals and they are much smaller. My truly "active" firm client base dwindled to one long-time client. The firm did not see that servicing that sole client required someone of my age, experience and salary level. (And the managing partner needs hours, I think, to fill his own plate.)
So, my mission, which I have just accepted (like it or not), is to figure out where to go and what to do next -- at age 53. This could involve a small, medium or enormous amout of self re-invention. It seems like the immediate task is to try to get through the initial shock and confusion and start to brainstorm about what could come next. As anyone who has been through something like this can tell you that is not an easy task to accomplish -- at least not on Day #1.
Some first steps were easy enough. Get through the evening in one piece. (There was no telling W yesterday; it was open school night at my older daughter's school. I went directly from being laid off to hearing a speech by the principal and meeting this year's teacher.
I just put one foot in front of the other, left the office, went to open school night, then out for a quick bite with some friends. I could not help but think that the expense of eating out -- something that would never have occurred to me before -- was on my mind. Then home and to bed. No point in denying M a decent night's sleep.
Up this morning. Usual routine. Walk older daughter to school bus. Take younger daughter to nursery school. (Yes, I'm an older father.) It was Friday so, mercifully, my next stop was my weekly therapy appointment. I break the news to the shrink and I realize that, even as I wonder about the expense, I'm going to need his support over the coming months. There is no denying how stressful such a period can be and doubtless will be. Came home and broke the news to M -- who was wonderful and supportive. Whatever fears she has -- and, believe me, she has them (she has always been more grounded and more practical than I), she put aside for the moment and was loving and positive. It helped.
Then to the office. I actually have much to do for clients large and small. I also have to start reaching out, networking, and letting people know I'm looking -- though for what I'm not sure.
